Force behind Creation

thorns

Joshua — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 20:18:14 +0000

what happens when the support you hold onto grew thorns.
if it really means something, hold onto it even if you bleed.
thats how much you mean to me.

Alone in the room filled with echoes and songs.
I can’t sleep because it haunts the shit out of me..
all i can do is laugh at myself. im one hell of a pathetic piece of crap.

Thick and Thin

Joshua — Tue, 31 May 2011 17:51:40 +0000

you make me a better person.
holding my hand, and rowing down the river of the unknown.
with every challenge, we stumble a little but what makes it all worth it was the experience and the fact that we held tight to one another regardless.

i would be a fool to let go someone as awesome as you
i believe and trust in you.

never gonna let you go.

ps: i miss you so bad.
love,
casanova

The invisible line

Joshua — Fri, 27 May 2011 22:17:13 +0000

Crossed the line of no turning back and all got was more questions
Sleepless nights, stoned expression and endless tears as I gazed out the window..
What is happening? What happened to I love you?
For the first time i actually cared about something and now I seem at a lost!
Wrap by the only comfort i have, my blanket, all I could think was.. Was she even thinking about me?
All this have knocked the breathe out of me..
Why did I have to read the msg.. It leads only to problems..

Broken.. thats how i can describe myself now..
For the first time in my life, i actually said FML..
What I truely hated was myself for being this hurt…
My heart is literally aching now.. My eyes are heavy.. My breathe is slow.. My tears are dried..
fml.. i don’t know what to do now.. it felt like i have just lived a lie..
WHY AM I SO FUCKING BLIND?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Trouble is

Joshua — Thu, 19 May 2011 14:49:17 +0000

Trouble is I can’t get her out of my mind when I close my eyes at night..
The only thing which brings me through my period of anxiety and fear..
Don’t want to be alone facing all this nightmares which have brough so much stress on me..
Im tired.. so tired.. but I can’t sleep.. its creeping me out..

Oh God help me..
I love her so much..

Missing

Joshua — Mon, 09 May 2011 02:16:32 +0000

I miss her soo soo soo much that I do not know how to express it..
Been trying to hide it every day so to not make her worry..
its been making me act so silly even infront of her..
maybe you can call it lost for words..
but all i want to do is just look at her all night and just get lost in her eyes

…
hearts and kiss
…

Going Coconut(s) over Casanova

Joshua — Thu, 05 May 2011 23:55:34 +0000

Love bought a cute gift in rememberance of our 2 months together.
Honestly, i’ve never received a gift from any girl before (ignoring bday presents and christmas) for a relationship.
They may be soft toys but I cherish them as though as they are diamonds.. Coincidentally, their names fit those of both of our characters, past or present. How much of a match is this?
Tears of joy row down my cheeks, along side with tears of hope that I can be by her side again.
I am O-so-happy at this point in my life..

Yet this girl always felt that she is not doing anything for me.. How cute can she be!!! OMG~!!
I’ve seen the care and concern she have given me regardless whatever form it may be (jealousy, scolding, sending a heart, a i miss you, how’s your day)..
and i understand it all.. I so lucky to have her in my life ^^..
Joy to the world.. for you have made my life meaningful..

Love ya.

back to one

Joshua — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 08:51:40 +0000

what more can i say but i love her

whats happiness

Joshua — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 18:14:12 +0000

happiness is when you open your eyes into this world.. and know out there someone cares and is thinking about you..
i get so caught up with my mood that i forget how much happiness i have with her..
behind every sorrow, hurt from arguements.. is how much i miss the joy she brought to me..

my life have been full of ups and downs.. you are the only one who can hang it at the “ups” for so long.. and also bring it to the “downs”.. only because you mean the world to me..
nothing is perfect in the world.. that applies to me as well.. but it is only you who can bring me up.. closer to what seems to be perfection.. but actually 2 jigsaws forming a perfect picture.. (you and i)..

i can smile everyday only because you give me the reason to.. and girl you are the reason..
if you are reading this now.. know that i really am happy for you being in my life and being with me..
i am happy now.. because of you..

remember the word “regret”?..
i regret not knowing you earlier and not having to have gone to woodlands sec (yes it was one of my choices).. and have the possibility to meet you, being with you.. and to make my life a happier one..

I love you for you are everything to me..

no more

Joshua — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 08:11:49 +0000

what am i to do now when all along, i was the problem

~~the greatest thing, you’ll ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return~~
my silly obsession of love is no more
everyone has their own kind of relationships
and shall be that “one” which i’ve never been or seen before
the one where 2 life are live seperately and speak only of love

so what is love?

Joshua — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 15:23:17 +0000

suddenly.. everything in me collapsed..
WHAT HAVE ALL THIS MEANT TO YOU ALL THIS WHILE?! REALLY?!
is this all fun and games to you?!
I hit my head and you didn’t even asked if I was alright..
I expressed myself and you emotion-lessly crushed me..
FUCK.. REALLY FUCK THIS SHIT…
why are you so selfish to not even be ready to understand me..
You never cared.. FUCK this really FUCK THIS..