The Update

Months have passed since i last bloggeed. Many events have passed and yet time does not allow me to type them all.

At a simple Summary, the atmosphere is tense and my faith is disminishing. Life seems to oppose theories.

People may be joyful for some but yet everyday, someone’s heart is weeping miserably. Pain and misery is a good combination to knock one out of their game, into the pits of “despair” or more appropriately “Emotional State”.

After viewing Paranormal Activity, I have a few thoughts which I want to share. The Movie may be fictional and effects are over exaggerated but yet it revealed something to me.
1. Problems will not always go away when you are persistant.
This is also known as being a stubborn dog.
2. Don’t act upon your own thoughts and assumption. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP EARLIER!
Aka. Hao Lian.
3. It will hurt if you open the door to your heart and soul.
Aka. Leave it as it is and don’t worsen it.

Applying it to real life, the battle with the “darkness” within our hearts is though but never give in. Don’t go through it alone and share your burdens and thoughts as there is no ONE MAN army. (Unless you are a God or deity). Never give in to the “hole” and always look on the bright side.
Of course i’m not telling everyone to be a positive num-rod and be ignorant of what is happening around. Stay, Reflect and Move on.
Live and Let Live. And NEVER Regret.

Josh.
(In Excel Class)
What a Joke.

Images.

Whats your purpose of living? Everyone shares a similar but yet different objective. That would be to live on and to live a wholesome life. But what makes this objective different is how we want to attain such an objective. Looking around, I can’t understand much but yet I see alot. What have been hitting me recently is strange images of unjustice in this world and what makes in even weird is seeing myself doing them.

I can’t help but to question. where is my God? Have my faith been so bleak that even a speck of dust could over shadow? My heart seeks for something more and yet nothing out of the extraordinary. Life seems meaningless if it continues on as it is.

If life is plain and boring everyday, it issin’t much of a life that is worth celebrating for? Whats the difference between a corpse and a procrastinator besides the fact that one is able to function more than another?

what i can do now is to live life as it is now and not regret any second of it.

-Too fast to live, too young to die-
Josh.

Sacarsm

For some reason, this is shit is being used more and more often when i speak.. and i swear, i LOVE it!

Crude at times yes.. but FUNNY to me!..

Oh how i imagine im in one of those sit-comms where someone does stuff and they play the sound of people laughing.. ooooh boy..

That just shows how much i watch tv.. heh heh heh..

i smoked a few ciggs 2 days ago.. cause it was an IMPORT.. WOAH~~ and boy it tasted S-W-E-E-T.. only to find out it could only be bought at the airport.. Well, i guess thats what they mean by kissing smoking goodbye..

I did something bad.. a few days ago.. i flirted with a girl.. Eew.. i shouldn’t have done that.. what made it worst was that i ignored her after that.. not that i want to.. but i couldnt keep it up.. Oh man where are my Nuts.. (Think hard)

Almost everyone in class is down with fever, flu and cough.. which made our ENTIRE CLASS BANNED FROM SCHOOL.. till wednesday.. uh huh.. now i REALLY want to go for lecture since they are going to REVISE! OMG!!!! T.T… OF ALL THE LECTURES I MISSED I MISS THE IMPORTANT ONES!! Oh my baby Jesus Help me!!

Exams are coming.. so are presentation deadlines and ALMOST NOTHING WAS DONE! I love my life! Woohoo.. I want to do something more.. MORE THAN THIS BORING SHIT..

leap of faith

I rest my problems to you and you alone. This faith of mine will soar to declare your promise. The prayer to be who I was and abandon the life of sin, which denied the existance of the one who gave it all. I’ll stand my soul lord to you surrendered. All i am is yours.

As I prayed, a sudden grip of love supported the fragile hand of mine. A whisper of the wind tells me. “Im here my child and I’ve always been. Open up your heart, close your eyes and have faith.”

My Ignorance have blinded me, take charge for what i do and guide me on the journey filled with obsticles which i know you would pull me through. “When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are king over the flood. I will be still and know you are God.”

I rest my soul in Christ alone, in quietness and trust. Amen

*Thou shall stop smoking
*Thou shall stop using vulgarities

Josh.

Sleep

I was tired since i didnt sleep the previous night and all i wanted to do was have a good sleep. Though i was physically exhausted, i wasn’t able to fall asleep! I tried various methods to sleep, those including listening to slow music, drinking a hot cup of milk even crying to sleep. Eventually, i was knocked out. However, the story did not end there.

Ever felt mentally awake but you know that you’re sleeping? That was what happened. I “woke up” unable to move my body at all. I was caught in an awkward position which caused my breathing to slow down ALOT. I tried to turn over but wasn’t able to. I ended up able to swing my arm just in the nick of time. I wasn’t in any comfortable position that’s for sure. My last attempt to wake up was my laptop, where i placed my fingers on the keyboard and started to type random words which eventually allowed me to move my arms.. and slowly, i managed to move again..

It was a freaky experience which i don’t wanna try again.. A proper sleep is so hard to get..

a little piece of heaven

‘Cause i really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that’s why i got a heater for your thighs
And i know, i know it’s not your time
But bye, bye.
And a word to the wise, when the fire dies,
You think it’s over but it’s just begun
But baby don’t cry

1. Cherish every moment of the present and never turn back.
2. Appreciate those who appreciates
3. Respect those who respects

Live with it. Stay by it.

I’ve been thinking

A Weekend of Thoughts

Last Friday was fruitful due to the sufficient sleep i had.
What made it perfect was Basketball. Things were smooth till dust came.
I started to become duller by the moment as thoughts gushed through my mind. I wondered to myself if there is anyone in this world i could rely on. I glanced at the “Ring Holders” and was confused. That night, i stayed over at Reynard’s place. Shared my thoughts with him just like the old times and went home the following morning. Was suppose to “help” Cleon find MY PASSION FOR SERVING GOD but i ended up appearing only after the service.

All i hear was, Hey how have Tertiary been?, How’s Poly. (I was rather irritated actually).
When i “Ponned” Tertiary Service which was after Youth, Everyone asked me. What time is your service? Why are you not at service?
Though my answers to all was that i backslided, i was questioning myself if my mindset was completely different from that of the past?
From friends in poly, have my path of faith been dimmed due to issues such as BGR, Stress etc?
Zachary told me: “At the end times, if you were to give up even when 99% of the work have been done, all would have been lost for it wasn’t completed?”
“If leaders were made in Youth and is only effective in youth, wouldn’t everyone remain in a cycle.”
I was left speechless but thought of what I’ve been doing recently that i’ve been proud of. NOTHING!
I’ve been through so many changes.. why not this..

JOSHUA LEE! YOU MUST PERSERVERE ON!

My Heaven~

Importance

Just had my ICA 2 for Lab course.
I didn’t score well. but good enough to pass.
Such an idea issin’t relavent in reality for it doesn’t fulfill what people say “making full use of your time”
I didn’t really study for this exam and have serverely regreted as i know that it was something that i could have done easily but yet i didn’t due to my hot-headed mindset of “let nature take its course”

Why allow nature to take control at times when we can make our life more meaningful when we control it well?!
Though this is not really much related to business, but i know that it is relavent one way or another in the future.

Study Study Study!
*Extremely stressed but enjoying every second of it*

Fujitsu Laptop sucks.

School was great last week but it had a complete 180 degree turn for the worst! Everything was swell till i turn on my laptop! for some reason or another i can connect to the school wireless but i can’t access the internet! WTH?! when i thought it was only in school, i brought it home and guess what! the same thing happened! seriously. what in the blue hell is wrong with it!

The last thing i want is to freaking restart it or bring it to fujitsu! cause from what i heard, im not the only freako who can’t access the internet! Really is the help desk useful? i don’t know at all! i go to Mr Fuan and he ask me to go to the help desk, i went to the help desk they ask me to go to the teacher at the next door and guess who i find?! no one at all! it means i have to wait my balls off just for the teachers to come back and see if there is anything to be done for my laptop! I can’t access the websites and my ICA is like THURSDAY? FREAK!

All i can do now is to rely on my friend’s laptop in school but seriously? I don’t have that freaking time to keep doing that? Crap i hope that everything can be done tomorrow or something! i don’t wanna miss out in the freaking tutorial because apparently the laptop im using now can’t access the shit at all Only the one for school can but there is no Freaking internet! BULLSHIT!

Week 2 day 2

School was totally boring yesterday! I was partially frozen in the lecture theatre for account for assets. Though out the entire day, i was extremely cold! Thank God for tutorial, were i was at least able to open my laptop and you know.. play games.. hahas. but what came was not what i expected! Effective Oral Communication class omg. It was a long boring lesson and i couldn’t wait to leave. Time passed so slow that i felt like everything was like the matrix.. (you know the slow motion).

If only im able to upload the pictures.. which for some reason i can’t! Oooh boy.. Next lesson is like Effective oral communication?! Oh no.. the textbook is no longer on sale and i have so many things to do! This totally sucks, but thank God i am able to connect to the internet already.. at least it’s better than before~.